WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A HYENA OR A FISI

Here is a list of all the differences between the self proclaimed Team Mafisi and the real Hyenas.‘Team Mafisi' and hyenas exhibit very different characteristics apart from being greedy Much has been written about the self- proclaimed Team Mafisi Sacco loosely translated Hyenas' sacco, from the virtual press conferences they hold online to the crazy memes created hyping the members every-time there is a scandalous trend on Twitter. Despite all the craze it is of due importance to note that there is a stark difference between the members of Team Mafisi Sacco and the real hyenas, beats me how this name was coined all together.

Greedy

Team Mafisi's are known to be greedy, something we all agree on but there is more; Hyena's are thin and emaciated compared to Team Mafisi's who mostly don a big tummy and are overweight thanks to the frequent trips to their drinking dens every other evening.



Courage

Hyena's are very courageous despite your thoughts, it takes a lot to go after the lions

and chase them just to get a bite of the leftovers. Team Mafisi on the other hand have proven to

be cowards with no strategy, the only time they exhibit teamwork is when they are making fun of poor individuals being trolled on social media,nonwondet no good has come out of Team

Mafisi's team work.



Bro-Code

Mafisi's will even disrespect the universal bro- code (not hitting on your friend's girlfriend or crush, to them this is a green light).



Strategy

Hyena's will strategise on how to chase off the lions to get their food, on the other hand catch a member of the Mafisi sacco dead trying to snatch a girl from a sponsor. Its not like they have a chance anyway but they will not even try



Good Hunters

Mafisi's are good and intelligent hunters and will take however long it takes to land on a prey, the average Team Mafisi is always broke, has no skills whatsoever in getting own woman let alone keep it. When faced with any trouble they are the ones ready to take off. They are well known to scavenge what is left by the sponsors

Ideally almost all members of Team Mafisi are living to the character linked to the hyena ‘greed'. They are always salivating and drooling  after what does not belong to them.

Are you a member of Team Mafisi Sacco, can you tick on all of the above? if so then please

stand up.

A POLYGAMOUS OR A PHILANDERER?

What is more responsible than having as many girlfriends as I can handle? Take it from this perspective, when a chic knows she is the only one in a man’s life, the monopoly overwhelms her. Knowing  she has no competition, she becomes careless and always sulks like a baby thinking she is fully entitled to put you through mental torture and detriment you ,after all, at the end of the day you have no side chic to resort to. Honestly, I really pity the suffering monogamous dudes who slowly but surely will soon be heading to Mathare Mental facilities .God help the poor souls!
Women are funny creatures who fear competition, especially the nagging type. If you as much as dare receive a call from a lady she does not know and you fail to explain who she is, believe me my friend you will end up not knowing what conjugal rights are for about two weeks.
What if another  lady comes into the picture? This would definitely trigger her competitive side ,nothing makes a lady feel more insecure like seeing a hot chic constantly hitting your inbox in whatsapp, constantly liking your posts in facebook and faithfully following your tweets. Your trophy lady would definitely do everything to outdo the other lady, just so to please you. It  is healthy to make women jealous, it is only then that you will get full dose of her romance side.
I know most ladies would call me crazy but I think most responsible men would agree with me.  Get my point clearly, am not saying that a man should  be a philanderer or a Casanova for that matter, am sanely advocating for polygamy but now in campus level. Make it official to her that you have two other ladies beside her. If I may allude to the holy book that we so much tie our faiths to, we find the wisest of all people that have ever lived, Wise King Solomon, with all his wisdom knew it was quite cumbersome to have one woman at his beck and call. He had a staggering number of a thousand! Ndume kamili!
Ladies what is worse? Having a  man who has two ladies and he faithfully serves  them or a man who has only you but  diligently and aggressively sleeps around  with  anything in  a skirt in the name of team mafisi?
It is about time we became realistic, why be too proud to refuse  to be the second or third lady in a relationship yet all the six to ten men you have initially met in your campus life all stayed with you, and only you, faithfully but after digging your honeypot disappeared into thin air? Honestly it is not playing second fiddle; it only implies the other lady came first, you both have a role to play and the bottom line is that you share one man who is faithful to both of you.
My ten dollar point is;  this does not have to make sense, it is the reality!

BEING FAKE IS REAL; THE WOMAN TODAY

You see her swaying her hips on the pavements,really nice curves! but then you wonder if what you are admiring is from her mama.That could be hip enhancers,you know.That ample backslide could  be a perfect work of a plastic surgeon somewhere.That mid cleaverage that makes your palms sweat and drifts your mind to another world,could be the work of a wonder bra. Do  you see those bushy eyelashes? perfect eyebrows? Does her mum possess them? You don't have to be told they're artificial.You remember yourself admiring her well-manicured nails and wishing she was yours because your girlfriend's are short and nail-bitten?Remember,she can still have the same at a fair cost ...that's if you don't mind having a fake damsel by your side.

Are women right in what they are doing? In my opinion,they are. We are living in a competitive world. A world of fashion.A world in which artificial will do the trick of making you suddenly irrestistible.A world when a little plus of the mass of flesh behind your back will make you every man's dream.
A world where having a deeper cleaverage than your collegue will make you more preferred for a job. This is a world where that classy look will give you a rare chance to advertise fine brands of leading companies on T.V. A new age when you get favours because of how you look.People treat you according to how you dress.

With the rapidly changing global fashion trends,the word 'natural' is slowly  but surely loosing it's meaning.You will always hear men complain of fake women but then that will be the same guy  who will remind you to do  something about your  natural hair.The same one who pays you that sweet compliment after you visit the salon.Most popular socialites and celebrities today are fake,yet adored! That's why i feel women have no better option rather than being fake

PROFILE PICTURES

That damn picture is still fresh in my memory.She looked like a million dollars.Her sarcastic look haunted me from the very moment that I cast a glimpse at her. Everything from how she smiled to how she grinned spelt sophistication.The navy blue polca dotted dress that she wore emphasized her slender figure,leaving her unending spotless brown legs to draw the very interest she desired.Her skin looked young and flawless. I cried tears.Tears of  one with a broken heart....Then the status caught my dwindling attention...R.I.P Marya.u left us too early!!

Social media account's profile pictures have turned out to be a big craze in today's world.Profile pictures(dp's) have their say on relationships now.Everybody wants to know who is that dude or dudette in your dp. Suitors/ boy(girl)friends are demanding that their pictures appear on social media accounts profiles in order to scare of side chics/dudes.Relationships posted  on facebook and whatsApp have been assumed to be more genuine and happy.

The quality and clarity of profile pictures posted have led to emergence of different classes of people. A guy with a highly defined dp is likely to own the likes of Samsung S6 edge ,Infinix zero ..to mention but a few. While,the one with blurred dps tend to own cheaper ones..In the world of profile pictures,a territory for photo grinders and selfie holics is also set .Profile pictures have also led to a change of ward drobe due to need of more fancy outfit...your profile picture will determine the number of likes and followers you attract.

THE CORRUPT CAMPUS LEADERS

Kenya and Africa at large has been been missing on the map as far as development is concerned. Reason? CORRUPTION by those who occupy offices, those in position to change the African narrative to a more promising one. But then those leaders are not born corrupt, they are born, they see, they practice before they replace those they admire.

“Samaki huoza toka kichwani” is a phrase coined by the Swahili saying that the rot of a particular system states from the head, in this case if it were student leadership then the rot starts from the chairperson of that union or the vice chairperson going tearing down to the school based Student Organizations. Corruption is addictive , it starts from somewhere, it grows and blows up when one who was the mist corrupt in their youthful days manages to convince others to vote him as President or whatever post he/she decides to go for.

Kenyan campuses are the bedrock of corruption, power hungry students convincing comrades to vote them in, most of them from the villages deep down east and west seek sponsorship from corrupt politicians to fund their campaigns , they are very poor and are only looking for those posts to squander funds meant for needy students , once elected they form a cartel of poor students masquerading all over the place in suits ,and like you know In Kenya if you are a thief and you in a suit you are not likely to be caught , that explains why most graduates remain poor for the better part of their lives yet they still vote in Rich criminals to continue stealing from their pockets .

There is nothing terrible like handing over power to a student who only knows poverty,trust me he will steal from you and still from himself too, they are mean to the electorate and mean to themselves too. They are the type of people who will come top your house at lunch, wait till you cook, grab your meal and chase you out to dry in the scorching sun. They are very heartless. If you ever wondered why earth is not a better place than hell they just look at them.

They will sell you Campus Tour Tickets, which are meant to be free, they will want you to write positive things about them when the only positive thing bout them is their attitude to theft and corruption.

As long as Kenya still hangs petty thieves and elect the big ones to lead,they will still live in our midst but then their is no sense of students organizations if they are only feeding the nation with dictators,corruption lords and selfish individuals .

Say NO to corruption ,the occupants of those offices are thieves.