"I love you and I will always do. But I need you to know that though we had a good time, we cannot be together. I do not want you to wait for me yet I will not be coming back to you, however much I may want to. You have been a great turning point in my life and I have learnt a lot whilst with you. But honey, I need you to know that I need this break up more than you can fathom. You are a good man and I hope one day you find love with a lady who deserves you. My prayer is one day you get to understand that I did this for us. ”
These were her last words as she walked away, I have never seen nor heard from her again. Only to see wedding invitation cards four months later, with her name on it.
To imagine that I once told her I would never let her go makes my heart ache tenfold! The mere thought that I deceived myself that what we were building was a formidable love force that every love bird in the campus would want to resonate with shutters my already broken heart into smithereens. I wished she knew how I have been trying so hard not think about us, not to hate her coz hate only ruins people’s life. Sometimes I even ask myself why I had to care so much for her while all she did was show me the red flags. I did not even have the strength to wish I had never met her.
I thought that letting our love go to waste would give me some space to heal and figure out how to make it work for me by carrying myself up and moving on. I spend so much time thinking of all the possible things I could have done just to make her stay but trust me; nothing leaves me so empty than to think that I gave it my all. The reality that she is now another man’s bride and that she is not with me makes me blame myself for not trying harder to keep her. But who would have had the strength to talk after such a bombshell?
Sometimes I wish she knew how many sleepless nights I spent thinking that if only she could have waited a little bit longer, if only she could have meant every word that she ever told me while whispering sweet nothing in my ears. Yes, I always wanted the best for her, but knowing she went too soon to find a better life, completely broke me. All the memories we made, I hope they meant something to you. It will hurt me, but I will have to let everything that we ever shared fade away.
As my tears dry, as I start loving her less and contending with the fact that this is a goodbye note, I want her to know that I now love myself enough to know that it is time for me to let her go. I sincerely hope that she finds all the happiness that she ever wanted.
Farewell, mi’amor!
